Super Mario Soap Opera
by Chrono Eternal
Summary: When Mario's friends become toddlers, he falls in love with a mermaid, teenage Peach, Bowser's French girlfriend, a kangaroo, and BRITNEY SPEARS?! What happens when Luigi is mistaken for Justin Timberlake? Please R/R. New title ideas anyone?


*Super Mario Land, Peach's Castle, Mario, Peach, and Luigi, and Bowser belong to Nintendo. The Maury Show belongs to Maury and the producer that thought of such a stupid show. The Little Mermaid belongs to Disney. The Guinness Book of World Records belongs to whoever made it. And according to the law, Britney Spears belongs to herself and Justin Timberlake belongs to himself (even though there was some contract or something).*  
  
Once upon a time in Super Mario Land, Mario and his friends were on a picnic. They were having the best time. Then, all of a sudden, Peach ran out of her tea. She asked Mario to go get some more at the Castle. Mario was glad to.  
  
He was trotting along the road, and he finally got there. He got the tea and then started back to the picnic. When he got there, he was in for a big surprise. Everybody had turned into toddlers!  
  
He heard faint singing coming from the river. Mario rushed over and saw that there was a mermaid crying. Then she looked up into his eyes. Suddenly, Mario became hypnotized. Under the control of the mermaid, he jumped underwater.  
  
"Under the sea! Under the sea!"  
  
"Shut up, you stupid crab!" the mermaid yelled.  
  
Once they had reached the ocean floor, the mermaid told Mario they were going to marry. Mario, now un-hypnotized, said, "But I have a beautiful wife on land." But then he reconsidered, "Oh, well; you're prettier anyway!"  
  
They married the next day.  
  
Several years later, Mario remembered the toddlers that were once his friends. They would now be teenagers! He told his beautiful wife and mer- children he would go to the surface, but return later.  
  
He started up to the surface. He then saw a beautiful teenage girl and recognized her. He instantly fell in love. But then, he saw that the fifteen-year-old was making out with a guy in a green shirt and overalls. They both looked extremely familiar. He went over and punched the guy. He told the girl he was going to marry her.  
  
So they married. They went to Hawaii for their honeymoon. When they were relaxing on the beach, he saw a mermaid that looked awfully familiar. Then, he remembered.SHE WAS HIS WIFE! But he knew he could not let his new wife know that he was already married. So the two newlyweds snuck on a plane to Paris.  
  
But then, he saw someone. "Who's that hot French babe?!" He once again fell in love. But then, he saw...that stupid guy in the overalls was kissing her!  
  
Mario threw his punch, but it did not hurt the green lizard that had just stepped in front of the him...BOWSER! That was his name! Mario could remember. Everything was so mixed up. Mario's head was going to explode.  
  
So, he did the obvious thing that anyone would do--he hitched a flight to Alaska. He was so mixed up, but all that changed when he found, none other than, Britney Spears.  
  
Mario went over to kiss the superstar, but then Britney exclaimed, "But I already have a boyfriend--Justin Timberlake!"  
  
Mario knew it! The guy in overalls must be named Justin Timberlake! So he asked her where this "Justin Timberlake" was staying. She asked why he was so curious. He said, "I wanna punch him, DUH! Haven't you been listening to this story!" So, for some bizarre reason, they kissed for thirty hours and forty-six minutes, beating the world record by one minute. (Britney would do ANYTHING to get into the book of world records!)  
  
She wrote a song about Mario, but it was so horrible; it was never published. He was invited to the next Maury Show. The theme this time was "Too Many Wives." Britney Spears saw him on the show and knew he had to be the most romantic guy ever! So, she had to marry him! Plus, if she did, he would break another world record of too many wives! She would be listed in the book. "Oh my gosh! I'm gonna be in the Guinness Book of World Records TWICE!" she exclaimed.  
  
But what would Justin think? Oh, well, he never kissed her over three hours! They had only kissed for two hours and fifty-nine minutes--and that's when they were six and got their nerdy braces stuck together.  
  
After WAY too many years with Britney, Mario said he wanted to take a vacation by himself to Australia.  
  
So, he went. But when he got there, he saw a BEAUTIFUL kangaroo. But much to his disgust, Justin Timberlake, the freak in overalls, was kissing her. He was much older now, with a mustache! He looked so familiar now, as if he was a brother he had known all of his life! "Nah," he thought and went over and punched him.  
  
The kangaroo and Mario lived a new happy life. They had eleven joeys. Mario even bought a pouch to assist his kangaroo wife in carrying the babies.  
  
Mario was now 121, the oldest man for one hundred years. He looked in the Guinness Book of World Records and admired his picture. Then he noticed that his picture was not under oldest man, but longest kiss. Next to him was Britney Spears.  
  
He got on a plane and headed to Alaska, where they met. Much to his dismay, he discovered that she had gone on tour in France.  
  
He knew that he had to get a hold of that hot mama. After he arrived in Paris, he saw Bowser and that French babe kissing. Mario, now an experienced puncher, went over to Bowser, but he blew fire on him so hard that he was blasted into the ocean. There, he found his ex-ex-ex-wife, the mermaid. "Mario, you've returned!" But then, she slapped him. Then she hypnotized him like she did when they first met. However, this time, she said, "GO TO THE SURFACE AND NEVER RETURN!!!"  
  
"Under the sea! Under the sea!"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Mario did so, but then he saw her... It was the most beautiful person he had ever seen... It was PEACH! He knew her name, because she was now as old as she was when they had their picnic so long ago! He went over to of course...Justin...to hit him once again. Then Peach said, "Mario wake up!"  
  
"What?" Mario thought.  
  
"Mario wake up!" said the voice of his brother, Luigi.  
  
Mario woke up. Luigi was standing over him. Then, all of a sudden Britney was standing by Luigi in her Elvis suit that was split down her front down to her waist. (not exposing much though) And, like always Mario exclaimed to Luigi, "TAKE THAT JUSTIN!" as he hit him to the ground. So, (nope, this has no moral) Mario and Britney Spears lived happily ever after.  
  
Author's Note: Please review! In your review please tell me how HTML works. I know how to do the whole b/b thing and stuff, but it doesn't work. I've tried making it an .html file too. If you know what's wrong please tell me. And also, if you think I should make a knew chapter with like Luigi falling in love with someone like Hillary Duff (Lizzie McGuire) please put that in your review too. 


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